Zombies. If there’s one thing a geek loves (aside from certain geeks, who may prove to be the exception to this rule), it is zombies.
Case number 1: The other day, one of my relatively normal friends (who happens to have just a few geeky tendencies) and I ate lunch at Taco Bell. The talk swiftly turned to video games, then zombie video games, then finally, simply zombies. For the next 45 minutes, we outlined an extensive plan to survive a zombie outbreak, leaving no contingency unprepared-for. We even had separate plans for each of the three subcategories of zombies: undead, infected, and alien parasite. A sample of the conversation follows:
Me: so, I think that we can both agree that Big 5 is probably the best place to hold out.
Him: Definitely. They’ve got guns, crossbows, food, and everything else!
Me: Yeah, crossbows are good for killing zombies, but they’ve gotta hit the central nervous system to do anything.
Him: well, we’ll save those for last, then. But of course, you’ve gotta remember the explosives, they’re pretty effective.... what’ll we do for explosives?
Me (after taking big bite of burrito): how ‘bout Molotov cocktails?
Him: Yeah! Molotovs!
....And so on and so forth. About the time we got to comparing the effectiveness of various types of chainsaws and debating using an ATV verses an industrial riding mower, we realized that the closest patrons could hear us, so we inserted more references to zombies to make it apparent what we were talking about, and keep people from thinking that we were psychotic mass murderers and restraining us with clean white jackets while the nice men in white drove us to a permanent tour of the funny farm....
Case number 2: The Zombie Song:
A few months ago, a friend and I came up with this song (sung to “the wheels on the bus”):
The claws on the zombie go slash slash slash, slash slash slash, slash slash slash,
The claws on the zombie go slash slash slash, all through the town!
The teeth of the zombie go gnash gnash gnash, gnash gnash gnash, gnash gnash gnash,
The teeth of the zombie go gnash gnash gnash, all through the town!
The victims of the zombie go “AAAAAAAAHH, AAAAAAAAHH, AAAAAAAAHH!”
The victims of the zombie go “AAAAAAAAHH, AAAAAAAAHH, AAAAAAAAHH!”
All through the town!
And so on and so forth. The whole point of this song is to see how many things you can think of for the zombies and their victims to do.
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I still would make the case for the super Wal Mart. We got your provision, your flamable alcohol/ tiki torch oil, crossbows (albeit a smaller selection), video games (for training purposes), machetees, a hardware department full of hammers, fertilizer, sugar and as much disel fuel as you can siphon out in the parking lot.
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