The Fingers of Life

One of the most useful of tools in the geek’s lifestyle is (insert dramatic pause and drum roll here) the fingers of life. By the fingers of life, I do not mean to imply that a geek can simply waltz on over to a squashed, formerly-happy little forest creature plastered to the tarmac, wave his (or her) fingers, and restore the forest creature’s former optimistic outlook on life. No, this is one of the few tools that, for now, remain exclusive to technology.

We all, at some point or another, have known somebody who possesses the fingers of life. These are the people who you ask help from after you have tried to defeat a technical issue/problem approximately 37 and a half times. There you are, practically pulling your hair out, quietly screaming in frustration, when this person walks over, performs the exact same series of actions that you have already tried 37 and a half times, and somehow, succeeds! My first experience with this phenomenon was when I was attempting to install the necessary software to enable my flash drive to run on my computer (at that time, an ornery old ’98). After I performed all of the necessary steps, I would receive an error message. But this was no ordinary error message, my friends. No, this error message was different, all right! Specifically, this error message was in FRENCH. After receiving this message following more than a few tries, I (feeling more frustrated than a depressed lemming without a large body of water) called over my sister, the former owner of the computer. She followed the same steps, and it worked on the first try.

Over the last few years, however, I have slowly developed this ability with most computers. Most people mistake this for actual knowledge! Skill and knowledge are very different things! Knowledge is an actual understanding of concepts. Skill merely takes what knowledge you do possess and uses it to help you to make accurate conclusions from fragmented data. Many a time I will hear a cry for help and scurry across the room to the rescue, only to find that the computer in question starts behaving as soon a I get within a foot or two of it. My so-called fingers of life appear to have exceeded their physical limits, scuttling around the computer unseen, as though it were being swarmed by giant, invisible spiders spreading their skill around like jam on a piece of toast.